Stories are compelling. Whether it's one on Netflix or involving a colleague at work, we love them. 

Stories are great and it's what makes the world colourful, but we need to be aware that we also have our own stories; the stories we tell ourselves, about ourselves. 

We’ve built these stories up in our own heads over the years based on things that have happened in our lives; the things that went well, went badly and importantly how we reacted to them. Our story tells what we think we’re good and bad at. 

When I tell people that I’m a coach and that my speciality is helping people be more confident, they think I’m all firm handshakes and a big booming voice. Anyone who knows me, appreciates that I’m not.

Someone recently asked me at a seminar I was delivering if I had always been confident. Had I always been able to look comfortable when delivering a talk and able to maintain good eye contact? No. Definitely not.

When you’re at school, most of the questions you get asked have a clear answer. For example 3 x 5, and even with essays they are looking for a certain sort or style of answer. 

And you are rewarded for it. You get it right; you get smiles from the teacher and an extra hour on the games console at home. You get it wrong; and it’s shaking heads and extra pressure to ‘try harder’. 

In our monthly Confidence Bootcamp, we start by asking attendees who they think is confident and why. The person can be anyone they choose, it's what they are seeing as confident that we’re interested in.  

The answers nearly always describe people that either speak up a lot, are successful, or loud. 

These people may well be confident but I’d also say that some of the loudest people I’ve met have been among the least confident I know.

You’re doing ok at work.

You get on with your boss and teammates. Your last appraisal said you were meeting expectations and you got the small single digit pay rise that goes with that.

While this isn't the job of your dreams, you think the job is ok.

But what might you be capable of?

Something a lot of managers who want to be ready to step up to the next level come to me about is personal branding. Its a phrase or name I don’t really like. 

Essentially, how do I act like a senior manager or in more simple terms, how do I give people at work a good impression of me.