What new managers need to know.

When I’m coaching new managers, I hear this message constantly. They look around the meeting room, see colleagues delivering polished updates, and assume everyone else is perfectly confident.

They assume confidence is a personality trait. Something you’re born with, or something you ‘catch’ once you reach a certain level of seniority. And it’s a big reason I do what I do.

In a coaching session this week, it came up again. The reality is that every single manager, no matter how senior struggles with confidence. There are always situations where they feel less comfortable, less sure, and slightly exposed.

The difference isn't that they aren't nervous. It’s that they’ve stopped expecting themselves to be fearless. They know this is going to happen, that’s its normal.

They’ve learned that confidence is a strategy.

If you’re struggling to speak up or doubting your decisions, stop comparing your internal dialogue to other people’s external performance. You are seeing the polished outcome; you aren't seeing the work they put in to get there.

Here is how to manage it:

·      Map your triggers. Don't avoid the situations that make you feel exposed. Observe them. Is it a specific person? A particular type of meeting? A topic you feel under-prepared for? Notice it.

·      Build your habits. Once you know the trigger, think about what you might do to change things. Build a pre-meeting ritual or a set of questions you use to anchor yourself.

·      Practice the exposure. Confidence is a muscle, you can build. The more you put yourself in those uncomfortable work spots, the more you realise the world didn't end, and you learn how to handle the nerves. You’ll get a little better each time.

If you’re a manager who knows they have the capability, but feels like they’re constantly getting in their own way, start thinking like this and see what happens.

This resonate with you? Or perhaps you do something like this? Let me know in the comments below.