4 questions people managers need to stop asking.
I spend a lot of my week chatting with managers who are genuinely trying their best to be supportive. They sit down for their 1-to-1s or their team meetings with the best of intentions.
Yet, so often, their team members leave those meetings feeling like they’ve just been through a box-ticking exercise.
It reminds me a bit of talking to my nieces when they were little. I’d ask them, "How was your day?" and you get a blank stare or a grunted "Fine." It’s a well-meaning question, but it’s far too broad and it doesn’t give them anywhere to start. And we can unwittingly do the exact same thing in the workplace. We ask questions that sound empathetic on the surface, but they just leave people standing in front of a mental brick wall.
Managers and people leaders, here are four classic ‘non-questions’ you should swap out today and what to ask instead.
1. The Vague Catch-All
Stop asking: "What are you working on this week?"
The issue: This is the classic team meeting opener, and frankly, if we are honest, nobody really cares about the answer. It just prompts people to regurgitate their diary, listing off every meeting and mundane task on their calendar. You end up with a laundry list of activity, but zero clarity on whether any of it actually matters.
Ask this instead: "What are your top three priorities this week?"
Why it works: It forces a shift from busyness to impact. It helps your team focus on what actually moves things forward, while giving you a clear view of where they are focusing their energy.
2. The Trap Question
Stop asking: "Do you understand?"
The issue: It sounds supportive, but it’s virtually useless. First, someone might THINK they understand, say "yes", and walk away having completely grabbed the wrong end of the stick, leaving you blissfully unaware until things go off the rails. Second, it puts people on the spot. Very few people want to raise their hand in a busy room and admit they’re lost.
Ask this instead: "Can you walk me through what you heard, or what you think the next step is?"
Why it works: It’s not about testing them; it’s about making sure you were clear. It allows you to catch miscommunications early without putting anyone on the defensive.
3. The Interrogation
Stop asking: "Why did you make this mistake?"
The issue: Nine times out of ten, people don't wake up in the morning planning to get something wrong. It was an accident; the clue is in the title. Asking "why" immediately puts someone on the back foot, forcing them to build a defence rather than solve the problem. They will likely already be feeling bad enough.
Ask this instead: "Walk me through what happened here."
Why it works: It shifts the conversation from assigning blame to examining the process. You get a step-by-step view of where the system or decision-making broke down, turning a mistake into a genuine learning moment.
4. The Blind Spot Shift
Stop asking: "What training do you need?"
The issue: People rarely know what training they need because, by definition, they don't know what they're missing. Dropping this on an employee puts the burden of talent development entirely on their shoulders. That's your job as the manager.
Ask this instead: "Where do you want to be in a year’s time?"
Why it works: Once you know where they want to be, you can use your experience to map out the journey. You become the guide who spots the skill gaps and recommends the right tools to get them there.
Managing people is rarely about having all the right answers; it’s almost always about asking better questions.
Take a look at your agenda for your next set of 1-to-1s. Try swapping out just one of these questions this week and see how the energy in the room shifts.